


Smallalot

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-11-21
Updated: 2004-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-01 04:50:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/352109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Camelot, Smallville style. Sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smallalot

## Smallalot

by Luthorminion

[]()

* * *

Disclaimer:  
I don't own them, so I make no cheddar from my obsession. 

This is my first Smallville fic so feedback is much appreciated. Though not the mean kind.  
Sorry for any and all typos.  
I'm working on my proofreading skills and figured I shouldn't burden others with my mistakes. 

This is dedicated to the late, and very great Marion Zimmer Bradley. She who wrote the first slash story I ever read. A little book called the Mists of Avalon. And of course Monty Python. Couldn't resist. 

Smallalot 

Lex opened his eyes slowly and shuddered against the pinpricks of pain the bright sunlight stabbed into his eyes. He was resting against a tree, and for some reason, he could barely raise his arm above his head. 

After a moment of panic, he realized he was wearing very heavy armor, and it would take a lot more energy than he had at the moment to leave his spot. Besides, it was pretty comfy; the roots supported him on both sides, and every time he tried to focus on what exactly brought him to the present situation, the pain started and turned into nausea. 

But there was one thing worrying him; a wet sound, like when his fat foster father would gnaw repeatedly on a turkey leg, until the bone cracked and he sucked the marrow out. He turned his head to the sound, and quickly stifled the terrified whimper before it could escape. He wasn't going to scream, but there was a man lying on the ground with an innocent-looking bunny rabbit sitting on his chest. 

Yes, bunny rabbits are good, Lex's mind babbled. Good bunny rabbit. This bunny rabbit was a bit different. It was gnawing at the man's throat. Blood squirted from the wound like a fountain. From what Lex could tell, he no longer had a head. Memories of what happened earlier played assaulted his brain. 

Lex and his foster brother Lucas...no Kai were journeying to Smallalot(which in Lex's humble opinion was the dumbest name for a city he had ever heard) because he had a little business to take care of. He'd made a list and he went over it in his mind to calm his frazzled nerves. 

  1. Prove he was the true son of Luthor Pendragon. 
  2. Unify Britain. 
  3. Beat back the Saxon horde. 
  4. Find a queen. 
  5. Bring peace and prosperity to the land. 
  6. Die and be reborn when the world truly needed him. 



Easy. 

But things didn't seem to be going well. The Merlin ditched them, their horses ran off, and they got lost in the woods. After days of disorientation and near starvation, they happened upon an old man who offered to show them the way out. 

They came up on a clearing, where a fat little bunny was sunning himself in the early afternoon. "Aww...in't he cute, he is." Kai said, drawing his sword. "He'll be cuter in my belly, though." 

"No!" The old man said, putting a hand on his arm. "That bunny is a beast, 'e is. Look at his teeth!" The three men stared at the bunny, which didn't even look up at the conversation. 

"Get off old man." Kai blustered. He advanced on the bunny. 

Remembering the scene, Lex realized there was something ominous about the whole thing. A regular bunny would run away, but this one just held it's ground, eyes closed and oblivious to a human invading its territory. Kai advanced with his sword up, and the bunny opened its eyes and opened its mouth. And indeed, its teeth were horrible. 

"Wha-" was all Lucas got out before the rabbit was leaping in the air, sinking those giant chompers in his foster brother's neck. Lex turned to the old man. 

"Uh, is that normal?" He asked. But, there wasn't anyone standing next to him anymore. Bloody peasants. 

"Alright." Lex prayed to the Goddess, a few Roman Gods, the Jewish God everyone was so wild about, and ran to help his brother. Who was making awful gurgling noises. He couldn't use his sword, so grabbed at the bunny to try to get him off of his brother's neck. Kai shoved Lex into a tree. Everything went black after that. 

And here I am, Lex thought. I should probably get up...and be quiet about it. In his 22 years on Earth, Lex faced down Saxon barbarians, a dragon with morning sickness, and a really pissed off Lady of the Lake but this took the cake. He felt as if he were going to wet his codpiece. 

Unfortunately, Heavy armor is not conducive to stealth, and every jostle of steel made him wince in pain and in fear. The rabbit, however, seemed happy with his meal, and Lex was able to get up and back away slowly. He noticed his sword, Excalibur, a few feet away and reached down slowly to pick it up; of course the cursed thing decided it was a good time to start glowing blue and singing. 

"Shut up you bloody sword." Lex whispered, but the rabbit was turning, and its eyes were green and terrible. This time, Lex couldn't help shrieking like a woman. He turned tail and fled, with the rabbit right on his heels. Who thought a fat little bunny could move so fast, Lex thought as he sprinted through the thick forest, using Excalibur to cut through tree branches. He could tell the sword was pissed at being used for such mundane tasks, but he didn't care. He was going to have a long talk with Lady of the Lake about how to muzzle the little bastard. 

Lex was running so fast and his mind was filled with such terror, that he didn't notice the boy standing in his path until he collided with him.He should have knocked him over, what with his armor and momentum, but he was like a brick wall. Lex collapsed, and saw stars for a moment. His helmet snapped shut, and he raised a bruised arm to snap it back up. The man's face was obscured by shadows and he bent down to help Lex up. 

"What are you running from?" he asked. 

"Killer....(pant) bunny rabbit."   
"What?" 

And there it was the rabbit, flying through the air and going straight for the other boy's neck. He boy grasped the rabbit by its furry little paws, and threw it against a tree. 

"S'wounds!" Lex said. He started to sit up slowly, when he felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle: He noticed the gleam of sickly green eyes hidden in the trees. "We'd better get out of here." The boy said. 

"Argh..." Lex replied, transfixed by the rabbit horde. The boy picked him up and threw him over his shoulder like he weighed nothing and started running. His helm, once again, snapped shut, and the constant jarring motion knocked him out completely. 

* * *

Lex awoke to the view of the night sky filled to the brim with stars and illuminated by yellow moon. He lay near a fire, and instinctively, he reached to his side for his sword. Can't get rid of you, can I Excalibur? Destiny and all, he thought sourly. He was no longer wearing armor; in fact he was only wearing breeches. There was a bandage on his bald head and he struggled to sit up.

"You're awake." The boy said as he put a hand on Lex's naked chest. 

"Milord do not try to sit up. You are hurt." 

The fire flared making the night seem like day, and Lex could see the boy, no young man's face clearly: It shocked him more than the sight of rampaging bunny rabbits. 

For the boy was beautiful. The most beautiful man or woman Lex had ever seen. His hair was as black as the ocean at night, falling from his head in soft touchable waves. His skin was like honey, his eyes like jade and were staring straight into should, and his lips...they were moving. But they should be moving on me, Lex thought. No wait, he's talking... 

"...I think you should rest here until you have regained your strength." the boy concluded with a bright smile. "It was luck that I found you in the woods." 

"There is no such thing as Luck. There is only destiny." Lex replied. It's what the Lady of the Lake said, and it sounded good. He found himself swimming in the younger man's eyes, drowning really, it's getting black...don't go into the light...the boy cleared his throat and looked away. 

Lex cleared his throat as well. "So, my savior, what shall I call you." 

"My name is Galahad, or you could call me elf-arrow, or Lancelet. But my parents call me Clark." the boy said. 

"Clark? That's a funny name." 

"Yes, it is." 

"I think I'll stick with Lancelet. My true name is Lex, though I have a few others. And I believe I should get up." 

"But you're hurt." Lancelet said with a tiny pout to his full lips. 

"Yes, but I would like some water, and something to eat if you have it, and all of that can't be accomplished if I'm on my back." Though there are some other things I could do in this position. Lex looked deep into the younger man's eyes, and the boy blushed, snatching his hand back. 

Lex noticed how tall and broad the boy was, like a Saxon almost, save the dark hair and tawny coloring. His beauty brought to mind stories of changelings and indeed his name was elf-arrow. He went to his pack pulled out a sheepskin of water and tossed it to Lex. Lex was proud how he caught it, and he drank so much water he thought he would burst. 

Dropping the bag and wiping his mouth, he noticed his companion was skinning something...and it looked to be a rabbit. 

"That's not rabbit is it?" Lex asked with a grin. "What do you think?" The young man asked with a bright smile. "But don't worry, it's not one of the killer bunnies." 

"Thank god for that." Lex said. Lance carefully spitted the meat on a stick and began cooking it over the flames. Lex watched the lines of his forearms in the gleam of the fire, hypnotized by the play of muscle and sinew in golden skin. 

"So where are you from?" Lex asked. 

"The north. I plan on visiting Smallalot to see more of the world. And the son of the dragon. If his cause be just, I will join him to unify Britain, beat back the barbarians, and bring peace and prosperity to the land." 

"And if his cause is not just?" Lex asked in a challenging tone. 

"I'll return to my parents' lands and try to ignore my father's I-told-you-sos." He turned and smiled at Lex. 

"Your father does not want a son as a warrior?" The older man asked. 

"No, it is not that. He had dealings with Luthor Pendragon...and though he concedes he was a good warrior he says he was a very bad man. Always wenching, and drinking. The dragon even killed one of his supporters so he could take the poor man's wife as a queen, and there is some question whether or not this supposed son is even his!" 

"I suppose it is all true, when described in such coarse terms. But it was fated that Luthor marries Igraine, and has a son. And he didn't kill Gorlois, he was too busy sneaking into the old man's castle to lay with the wife!" 

That seemed to shock the young man even more. 

"But that's a sin!" 

"Ahh, you are a Christian! Well, now, not everyone in Britain follows the One God. Some follow the old ways where right and wrong is not so black and white." 

"Is that the meaning of the dragons on your arms?" the boy asked. 

"Yes, I am a priest of sorts." Lex lied. It was the king making in Avalon, an event he never wanted to think about again. The singing sword, the knives, having sex with his sister/incarnation of the goddess, and the idea that he may some day have to sacrifice his blood to heal the land was really too much. He shivered a bit in the warm spring night. 

"Well, all God's are one according to the Merlin." Lancelet said. 

"You know the Merlin?" Lex asked. 

"Oh yes. He visited me as a child and taught me how to read and write and all about the stars. He is the wisest man in Britain." The Merlin sure gets around doesn't he. 

They lapsed into a companionable silence. Lance handed the stick to Lex, who ate the gamey meet with relish. Fine fair, it was not, but it would do for the moment. Full and tired once again, Lex laid down. "I too am traveling to Smallalot. We will go there together if you wish." 

"You should rest. We have a long walk ahead of us tomorrow." Lancelet said. 

Lex closed his eyes and fell instantly to sleep. 

* * *

The next day, they awoke early and began their journey to Smallalot. They spent the next morning looking for Lex's horses and supplies, finding the beasts cowering in a grove a few miles from the bunny incident. Lex found it strange that the boy could hear the beasts, when all Lex could glean was the wind in the trees. He filed the information away for later perusal.

All in all, Lex found the boy a pleasant companion. His shy smiles and sweet demeanor were a welcome distraction to the impending sense of doom he felt as he grew closer to his destiny. He decided Lancelet would become his first knight since his foster brother Kai was dead. Shame, that. Oh well, the goddess' way were mysterious. 

In three days time, they saw the spires of Smallalot in the distance. They slept in its shadow, and Lex knew life as he had known it was about to change. Whether for good or for ill, he couldn't say. 

Before entering Smallalot, they stopped at a farm on the outskirts. It would not do for the once and future king to arrive dusty and smelling of horse. He and the boy washed in the water of the well, after giving the poor peasant a few coppers for their trouble. Lex tried not to stare at the younger man's perfect form, as he poured water down his long lean body. He was caught though, and the look they shared brought a heat to his body he'd never felt before. 

They made their way to the castle where the Merlin stood on the steps. A large crowd of nobles and peasants and everyone in between had formed to watch the old wizard, who was clad in the long robes of a druid, the gold bracelets of a wizard gleaming in the mid-morning sun. 

"All hail Arthur son of Luthor Pendraeg, the Once and Future King." The Merlin announced, locking eyes with Lex. 

Lancelet looked askance at his traveling companion, as the crowd fell to its knees in supplication. Lex couldn't help himself, he winked at the boy. 

He pulled Excalibur from its sheath and raised it above his head. It sang and gleamed. All in all it was a pretty good day. 

* * *

"Let all of Britain make merry this night. I, your king, command it. " Lex announced to the assembled guests. The room was filled to the brim with color and joy. There were jugglers, and musicians, and long tables groaning under enough food to feed the entire kingdom.

A loud cheer started at the king's words, with lots of Huzza's and Hoorahs. Plastering a fake smile of happiness to his face, he turned to his bride sitting on the right, trying to hide his distaste. She was tiny with a perfect beauty that would send most men's heart aflutter. But she just left him cold. 

It's not that he didn't like women. In fact, he really liked his half-sister, but he couldn't very well marry her. He did try to make the case to Merlin that Moraine would make a better queen, what with the sight and the whole Lady of the Lake angle, but the druid was adamant. 

"This is not Egypt. You are not the Pharaoh. And the Christians in your court would not like it." 

So he would have to make do with Lanafwhyr, the insipid doe-eyed Christ-addled daughter of one of his supporters. She was kind and sweet and didn't not inspire anything resembling passion in his loins. That honor was saved for a certain knight with greenish blue eyes and plump perfect lips. 

Sighing, he surveyed the wedding feast. Lance sat to his left in his position as the First Knight. He'd made many other knights in the months following his coronation and the battles with the Saxons, but the beautiful man still held a special place in his heart. 

He knew what he really hated about Lanafwhyr was that Lance was in love with her. They'd known each other since they were children, and Lance confessed one night when they were in their cups, that he had hoped he would marry the princess. Lex bit the inside of his mouth to stem the pain that announcement caused him. He loved his First Knight with a passion that was dangerous in its intensity: He would give up crown and kingdom to hear Lance say he loved him. If he were Lana, he would defy his father and the world to bask in that boy's perfect love. Which made the girl seem even more unworthy. A milksop. A fool. Tossing back his mead, he turned to Lance. 

"Our queen is bored. I must speak with some of the lords, but perhaps you would like to dance with her?" He leaned into the man beside him, savoring the heat from his skin. It was unseemly for the virginal queen to dance with another man, but Lex only wanted Lance to be happy. Part of him felt guilty that he had come between his love's own true love. 

"Milord, I do not know how to dance." 

"Then she will show you. Go on. Your King commands it." He whispered into Lance's ear. All he had to do was to reach out his tongue. The younger man shivered, as if he read his intent, and the King pulled back. 

"As my Lord, commands." Standing, the Knight took the tiny queen's hand and walked to the dance floor. 

Chloe...no Moraine, sat in Lance's spot. She was truly beautiful this night, though he suspected she did not know it. Some might say she was plain beside the queen, but her intelligence and wit more than made up for any supposed disparity in looks. 

"My brother. How fare you this night?" She asked, a hint of mischief in her brown eyes. 

"Well my sister." He looked hungrily at Lance and Lana: They were a beautiful couple, and he had to turn away. Lana looked upon his love with shining eyes, and he knew with a touch of prescience that it would cause many problems in the years to come. 

"I see." She said, trapping his eyes in her own. 

"What do you see my sister?" 

"I see betrayal, obsession, grief and misery. But true love will win out in the end. Do not forget that." She touched his arm, looking pointedly at his elf-arrow who so delicately touched his queen's hand. 

In the years that followed, Lex wondered on those words. What did his sister mean? He'd wanted to ask her so many times, but Lanafwyar's fear and hatred of the "witch" drove her from the court and to a much darker future than he would have imagined. 

While she was still in the castle, he made a mistake of epic proportions. The queen could not conceive and he thought perhaps it was his fault. So on Yuletide, he asked Lancelet to join his marriage bed. The thought of raising his beloved's child as his own filled him with a happiness he hadn't experienced since their journey to Smallalot so many years ago. And he had grown to love Lana, as best he could, and he wanted her to be happy. A child would make her happy and she loved the First Knight as much as he did. 

After much wine, the three of them collapsed on the bed, touching and exploring each other's body with abandon. First Lancelet took Lana. For one brief moment, their eyes locked and Lex shivered with the intensity of love he saw expressed there. Lex couldn't help it, he reached out and caressed his true loves arm, from shoulder to wrist, as Lance shuddered through his orgasm. 

It was his turn, and he plunged in, imagining it was Lance below him. He couldn't help himself as he collapsed on his wife spent, breathing out whispering "God, Lance." 

Lana was no fool, though she played at being one. She knew. She attacked him, she baited him, she stole the love of his life from him. For that, he never forgave her, though it was fated it would all come to misery. 

So much happened. Peace and prosperity enveloped the land, and there were times when he looked into Lance's eyes, when they sparred in the courtyard or walked in the garden, that he could've sworn he saw love and desire lurking there. That changed. Lana pulled Lancelet to her bed and the devout Christian never recovered from the sin he was committing. Now lust was replaced by guilt and Lex couldn't bear to be in the same room as his love anymore. The betrayal of his wife and best friend drove the king insane, but he kept it in, hiding beneath a mask of indifference. 

But knowing the queen lay with Lancelet also ignited his passion, and he took her roughly savoring the scent of his love that clung to her skin. He knew it was the closest he would ever come to his heart's desire. 

Every empire must fall: Lex saw the end of Smallalot as he grew older and colder. He fell ill with a mysterious disease. The knights decided to look for the Holy Grail; only a third returned. Apparently, the demon bunny rabbits were still frequenting certain woods in the kingdom. 

His son, from the liaison with his sister appeared all Luthor cunning. Gwydion caught Lana and Lance in a passionate embrace and the land demanded justice. They fled, and Lex believed his heard would break. It was treason for any man to lay with queen, and their deaths were the only solution becoming the rallying cry for his son's rebellion. 

Finally, he fought his son who brought war once again to the land and Lance returned to his side. In this battle, there would be no winner. His time was done and the barge would come to carry his body to Avalon, where he would wake when the world needed him agin, concealed in the mists of time and space. 

As he lay dying, he looked into the eyes of the man he had always loved. Lance stroked the skin of his cheek, and smiled through his tears. 

"I have proven myself my father's heir. I unified Britain, beat back the Saxons, and married the most beautiful woman of our generation. I ruled a kingdom and earned the love and respect of all my subjects. So much accomplished. But it matters not, for I would give it all away to mend the rift between us." Lex whispered. "I loved you. I love you. I will always love." 

"I cannot change the past, but know that I was a fool, seeking comfort in the wrong arms. It has always been you Arthur, my love." Lancelet whispered. Lex felt a tear splash against his face. 

"Sleep my king. When you awake I will be there to stand by your side, to love you as I should have in this life." Lance kissed him, as Lex slid into darkness. 

* * *

"Wake-up, Are you okay?" Lance, was hovering over him. Lex reached up and pulled his love into a deep kiss. At first the the other man struggled, but then he relaxed into it, moaning a bit as they broke apart. 

"Lancelet, I thought I died. This time I won't let you get away" Lex said. Then it hit him. He wasn't the King of Britain. He was Lex Luthor, bald billionaire businessman. And he had just kissed Clark, his straight Lana obsessed angel of mercy. 

He though he never blushed, but he knew his face was as red as a tomato at this point. 

"What happened?" Lex asked, when he could speak. 

"Well, I came up to the castle and I saw you fighting with this bunny rabbit. You had a sword and armor on for some reason, and then the bunny threw you into a tree and knocked you out." 

Lex remembered. He'd been up all night re-reading the Mists of Avalon. He found his mother's copy in the attic, and he couldn't help feeling connected to her as he devoured the pages. This morning he decided it would be fun to trot out his medieval sword and specially made armor (no one knew about it, even Clark. Didn't want the boy to think he was a total geek. It was bad enough he knew about Warrior Angel.) That's when he saw the bunny outside of the window, and decided to go on a quest to rid the land of the bunny menace. 

Said bunny was lying a few feet away, and it was obvious he wasn't a very good knight. Leave it to Lance, no Clark to come to rescue. 

Clark reached out his hand, and pulled Lex up. They walked back to the castle in silence. He hoped he could convince the teenager that the kiss was just a by-product of his most recent concussion. 

"Sorry about...you know" Lex said. 

"You mean the kiss?" Clark asked with an unreadable expression." 

"Yes." 

"Why'd you call me Lancelet?" 

"I was dreaming, you know. Multiple concussions, Dad drugging me. The island. Psychotic break. It all caught up with me I guess." 

"So if I was Lancelet, I guess you were King Arthur." 

"Of course." Clark took his hand, and Lex felt a small shock of pleasure at the feel of the other boy's skin. It wasn't rough, but smooth like his own. You wouldn't know he spent everyday doing manual labor on a farm. 

"You know, I always thought Lancelet and King Arthur should have gotten rid of Guinevere and rode off into the sunset together." 

"Really?" Lex asked a bit breathlessly. 

"Yeah. I mean how homoerotic can you get." Where'd corn fed farmboys learn the term homoerotic? 

"Everything would have worked out if they would have just realized they were madly in love with each other." 

"Yes." This conversation was making Lex a litle uncomfortable and a little horny. Clark suddenly stopped, and turned to face Lex. 

"We won't make that mistake will we?" Clark said, his eyes shining with love and desire. 

"No. We won't." Lex said. 

Clark leaned down and kissed him. In this life, the first thing on his list was to love Clark Kent. Everything else was just icing on the cake. 


End file.
